You don’t have to have the right words. You don’t have to know where to start. You don’t need a clear goal, a timeline, or a perfectly organized story. You can come to therapy messy. Messy can look like crying five minutes into session and maybe not even knowing why you're crying or it can sound like rambling, contradicting yourself, or saying, "I don’t even know if this makes sense." That’s okay. That’s human. That messiness happens!

Many people worry they need to participate in therapy the "right" way. What the heck is "right?" You don’t need to apologize for talking too much or not talking enough. You don’t need to apologize for not having your thoughts or feelings neatly organized so they're easy to describe. You don’t need to clean up or get fancy before you show up to therapy. You’re allowed to show up confused, overwhelmed, irritated, numb, unsure, or exhausted. That messiness happens!

A common fear is that you think you should wait until you're more ready to start therapy. But therapy is often where readiness begins. You don’t need clarity to start therapy. You don’t need to know the answers before you start therapy. You don’t need to be calm, cool, and collected to start therapy. 

Therapy is one of the few places where you don’t have to minimize your feelings or hold it together. You don’t have to justify why something hurts. You don’t have to compare your pain to anyone else’s. You get to be human here. You don’t need to be polished to be welcome. You don’t need to have anything figured out when you arrive. Messy is allowed!!!

When life feels heavy or stressful, it’s easy to think that coping has to be a certain thing to be effective, like meditating every day, following some “right” routine, or having all the answers. But the truth is this: coping doesn’t have a this-is-what-so-and-so-says-to-do formula. It’s whatever actually helps you feel a little steadier, more present, or a bit gentler with yourself.

Sometimes coping looks like journaling. Sometimes it’s taking a walk, moving your body, and letting your mind take a break. Sometimes it’s calling or texting a friend. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a few deep breaths. Sometimes coping is drinking a warm cup of tea. Sometimes it’s petting your furry friend. Or sometimes coping is dancing in the living room to loud music playing on your boombox. Whatever it is, it counts.

The key isn’t how you cope. It’s that you’re doing something to care for yourself in that moment when you feel out of control, at a loss, or unsure. 

Coping isn’t about fixing everything or making life perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when things feel uncertain, hard, or overwhelming. And the more you notice and honor the ways you cope, the more you remind yourself that caring for yourself is possible, and downright necessary. 

So, remember, coping doesn’t have to look a certain way. There are no rulebooks and no perfect method or any specific rhyme and reason to what coping skill is "best." What matters is that you’re doing something to take care of yourself in that moment of uncertainty, stress, or overwhelm.

It’s easy to feel like progress only counts when it’s dramatic, such as landing a new job, hitting a big goal, or completely “fixing” a problem. But most meaningful change doesn’t happen all at once. It often happens in small, not-so-noticeable ways, and those small wins matter just as much as the big ones.

Think about the everyday actions that might feel minor: brushing your teeth consistently, getting out of bed on a day when you feel exhausted or unmotivated, returning a phone call you’ve been putting off, taking a short walk outside, or even simply making your bed. These moments might seem ordinary, but each one is proof that you are showing up, taking steps forward, and caring for yourself. Sometimes those ways feel almost invisible. They aren't!

Small wins aren’t just about “doing.” They are about persistence, resilience, and being present. They are reminders that even when life feels overwhelming or inconsistent, you are capable of taking steps toward your own well-being. Each small action reinforces your ability to manage challenges and sets the stage for bigger changes over time.

It’s important to notice how small wins accumulate. One day, getting out of bed might feel like a minor victory; a week later, it becomes part of a routine that supports your mental and emotional health. Over time, these little actions compound, helping you build momentum, confidence, and a sense of control even in the midst of uncertainty or difficulty.

We need to normalize recognizing and celebrating every win. Often, we overlook progress because it feels too minor or too ordinary. That's why it's necessary to recognize, acknowledge, and reflect on these small victories, validating the effort it takes to keep moving forward. 

We need to ALWAYS remember that small wins are still wins. They matter. They are proof of your persistence and your courage. Every effort, every step, and every moment of showing up counts. Showing up isn't a one-size-fits-all, so that's why showing up counts and wins, no matter how small, are wins!!!